Yoga People Can Be The Worst

Hippy-dippy yoga people are supposed to be zen, accepting, and full of OM. Yeah right, whenever I start talking F*cking Yoga, you can see the zen just melt right out of them.

 

Yoga people can ruin it for everyone.

 

You would think a brand of yoga designed to draw more people into the yoga studio would be a good thing. Man, yoga people can be such a buzz kill.

One of the offspring had his friends overnight and the breakfast table was full. Turns out, one of his gal pals is taking her yoga certification at the local community college. She recognized me from one of my yoga classes and the subject of F*cking Yoga: Yoga for The 99% came up. You’d think a young person would have an open mind.

You’d think.

As I talked about The F*cking Yoga philosophy, if there is one, I could see the light in her eyes die. She pursed her lips and checked out of the blah blah blah I was laying down. She had the grace not to roll her eyes.

I’m not teaching yoga for people who are INTO yoga. I can spot those yogis the minute they walk into my class. Those kinds of folks are into the broader hoodoo voodoo of yoga and I’m more of a no-nonsense brand of yoga.

 

 

Yoga is hard.

 

 

Most people try yoga because someone said, “It will change your life!” I figure if you’re coming to yoga for the first time, you might’ve lost a bet. The people who come into my class aren’t looking for a primer on yoga philosophy. They’re just trying to figure out which foot goes where on the mat.

If I can get you to come back for a second class, it’s a win. Yoga takes time. Physical yoga AND philosophical yoga. Sometimes, not always, a client comes to me after a class and says, “I may have spaced out during savasana.” Holy shit! That’s a triumph.

More often than not, it’s more like a client drifts out of class without any of their shit and then comes back sheepish. That’s also a triumph. I don’t need a person to recognize the zen to prove my yoga is worthy.

It’s much more important to get people to come back to class on the reg. Over time, the zen will come.

And there’s nothing wrong with you if it doesn’t.