Slow Your Roll, Bitches: My Yoga IS Healthy Yoga
It happens all of the time. New people attend my class, and they are experienced yoga practitioners. You know the type, usually younger, lithe, and so full of yogi zen you just want to slap the yoga off of their fucking faces. They have no idea the yoga they’ve been practicing isn’t healthy yoga. I always frontload these people with my background in Viniyoga, my atypical cueing, and my history with yoga as a kinder way of saying, “Slow your roll, bitches. This is healthy yoga.” Yoga (modern transnational physical yoga, MTPY for short) as typically taught can cause serious injuries. Yes, yoga is the bomb diggity, and I wish…
For Those Who’d Like The Flexibility To Reach To Scratch
Meeting some friends at a local joint, I arrived early and ordered a margarita. The waiter, an imposing figure of six-foot-plus with a smooth bald head, gave me a wink and a friendly smile. As the place sat empty, we chatted a bit. Think Mr. Clean without the gold hoop. Somehow yoga and flexibility popped into the conversation . . . Imagine that. This guy pushed two hundred fifty pounds of trim and fit so when he mentioned his first yoga class I grinned.
Yoga People Can Be The Worst
Hippy-dippy yoga people are supposed to be zen, accepting, and full of OM. Yeah right, whenever I start talking F*cking Yoga, you can see the zen just melt right out of them. Yoga people can ruin it for everyone. You would think a brand of yoga designed to draw more people into the yoga studio would be a good thing. Man, yoga people can be such a buzz kill. One of the offspring had his friends overnight and the breakfast table was full. Turns out, one of his gal pals is taking her yoga certification at the local community college. She recognized me from one of my yoga classes…
Yoga for Everybody Is Bullshit.
You know it. Someone has told you, “You HAVE to try yoga! It’s GOOD for you!” Fuck that noise. Yoga for everybody is bullshit. Don’t get me wrong. I love yoga. I hope so; I’ve been practicing it for over 30 years. I don’t love this sing-songy, oozing bullshit I hear when someone is talking about yoga. Yes, I eavesdrop. I’m a writer, of course, I am. This crap is everywhere. The top ten reasons you should try yoga. Yoga will change your life. Seven reasons you shouldn’t try yoga. Snort, like that, isn’t a shady bullshit move. Every single one of these articles tout the same malarkey if not…